The Banes of Recent Past: Why I Haven't Been Writing Lately

No, not that sort of Bane!

If you are a friend, or you are my one follower of this blog (SHOUTOUT TO ARUB, I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A SPLENDID SUMMER!), you might have noticed that there has been a fair bit of internet tumbleweed drifting around here lately. 

This is because life has, for want of another word, utterly thwacked me round the temples with Important Stuff To Do. As someone who has been used to leisurely contemplating life and reading for fun this last month or so, this is unusual.

I felt like I should write an unusually short and pointless post apologising for this and explaining my absence. So, sorry. Stuff is happening, but I hope it will settle soon. Then internet whimsy and ranting will resume. 

If you've clicked on this link though, you've given me an extra view on my hit count, which makes you marvellous. You can keep reading if you want, but as far as I'm concerned, unless you want to follow me or leave a comment, the rest of this blogpost is a little bit pointless. 

I really won't mind if you stop reading.


Seriously.


This post is so pointless.


...


On a list of pointless things, this ranks right up there with sporks and Shrek the Third. 

You're still reading?

...

How kind of you.


Either that means you like Shrek the Third or you're a curious sort of chap/lass.


I'm hoping it's the latter.


The former would make you a bit odd.


You're right, reader, no one likes Shrek the Third. 


Ace. 

Anyway, unlike some writers of stuff on the internet, pressure does not stimulate me. It flattens me out like an increasingly rubbish steamroller that gets massively more annoying as time goes on.

Pressure is the worst. Pressure is a guy who doesn't put a round in at the pub but orders champagne when it's your turn. Pressure is a guy who flirts with you for a bit and then ghosts you because he has a secret wife he neglected to mention. Pressure wears fedoras unironically. Pressure is the worst. 

Recent Banes of My Life that have summoned lots of negative Pressure include or have included:

FLAT-HUNTING: by jingo, when a university says “you’re pretty much dead cert at getting a flat on campus”, what they actually mean is “LOLOLOLOLOLOL, good luck trying to find a decently priced flat within a reasonable radius of the university in an area you know absolutely sod all about in July, you supposedly clever postgraduate you”.

GRADUATION: one of the many Things That Happen That Require Rather A Lot More Effort Than Anticipated. Life lessons learned from experience: professional photos are expensive, mortar boards are exactly as silly as you imagine them to be.

HOME LIFE: The less said about Thurrock and moving back in with your two parents and an older brother who's not used to your presence, the better.

JOB-HUNTING: one of the few life-banes that has resulted in a happy success, as I now have found temporary employment with a rather nice company. I won’t name names in case of copyright or libel or whatever, but I rather like working there. But it does mean that I now spend many hours each week chatting to customers, rather than staring out the window and/or losing my patience with Netflix.

EXISTENTIAL WOE: up to and including panic attacks about my general life direction, looming spinsterhood, inability to achieve life goals, lack of self-will, rubbish haircuts, jealousy of more successful people my age, and many more of the things that recently graduated twenty-somethings experience and then insufferably blog about.

Believe you me, it has been very, very hard not to post a series of Parks and Rec GIFs and Smiths songs while complaining that I am probably never going to write a novel. Consider it a bonus that I haven’t thus far stooped so low.

Anyway, thank you for taking five minutes to read this pointless thing. Hopefully the next thing will be less pointless, more readable and more enjoyable.